saturday 2002-05-04 0203 last modified 2002-05-04 0207
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Oh that I might find my rest and peace in you! Oh that you would come into my heart and so inebriate it that I would forget my own evils and embrace my one and only good, which is you! What are you to me? Have mercy on me that I may speak. What am I to you, that you should demand to be loved by me? That you should be angry with me, if I fail to love you, and should threaten me with the utmost misery? And not to love you, is not this in itself misery enough? Oh, in the name of all your mercies, O Lord my God, tell me what you are to me! Say unto my soul; I am thy salvation. Speak so that I can hear. See, Lord, the ears of my heart are in front of you. Open them and say unto my soul: I am thy salvation. At these words I shall run and I shall take hold of you. Do not hide your face from me. Let me die, lest I should die indeed; only let me see your face.

My soul's house is narrow for you to enter; will you not make it broader? It is in a state of collapse; will you not rebuild it? It contains things which must offend your eyes; this I know and I admit. But who will make it clean? To whom, except you, shall I cry: Lord, cleanse me from my secret faults, and spare Thy servant from the power of the enemy. I believe, and therefore do I speak. Lord, you know this. Have I not confessed against myself my transgressions unto Thee, and Thou, O God, has forgiven the iniquity of my heart? I contend not in judgment with Thee, for you are Truth. And I will not deceive myself, lest my iniquity lie unto itself. Therefore I do not contend in judgment with you; for if Thou should'st mark what is done amiss, O Lord, Lord, who shall abide it?

-- The Confessions of St. Augustine, Book I, Chapter 5

I think I like this St. Augustine guy.

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