Ryan's Journal

A couple weeks into it and still going somewhat strong.  Well, definitely far weaker than that first week, but still going, which is better than other journals I've had. 

I'm not used to what's been happening lately, which might be great looking back on it, but right now it stinks.  Not only do I feel virtually friendless sometimes, I feel like I've overlooked the people who looked to me as a friend.  So I haven't been able to connect with people, and the people who feel they've connected with me feel rejected.  People.  This is such a peculiar world.  Then there are the acquaintances who I haven't been paying nearly enough attention to.  I'm really hating some of my classes now, I always feel this obligation to do school work, but whenever I have the most work is when I need to talk with people the most.  It's a horrid time for things to fall together like that. 

I'm going to have to find a recording of Pam Thum's song, "Life is Hard (God is Good)."  I loved that song when I first heard it almost three years ago.  Yes, I do remember how long ago it was.  It really means something now. 

I guess I feel bad not having people to talk to or just hang out with, but I feel worse feeling that way knowing that there were people who would have been my friends.  But somehow I missed them.  This is all wrapped up in a rather unnatural hatred for 6.002.  I hope somebody kills that class.  Even though a class isn't a living being.

I can celebrate the guy's group God is planting in MIT '02, though.  God's cool like that.  Oh, and He had this really cool timing trick today.  Like right when I needed to run into people I did.  That was definitely awesome.  Sleep.  I guess I do sort of look forward to what tomorrow will bring.  Even if it isn't wonderful now.  God's working.

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